First, the besty’s impending
move is killing me. She was with me for my FET bed rest but had to leave early
because her kiddos got a stomach bug. We had a whole weekend planned where my
hubs would be home and her hubs would come out our way and we’d all have a nice
“family” weekend – the last weekend we would all be together. Well, she had to
take care of her sickies (which ended up spreading throughout their entire
household. Ick!) I was going to go to their house for the week but I’m too
nervous. I most definitely don’t want to risk me or G getting sick. I’m pretty
sure the stomach flu is not good for a potentially pregnant woman. Anyway, this
was my last chance. Next week the major packing begins, her mother is flying
out and in just three short weeks, they hit the road. Now, don’t get me wrong,
I am still very happy for all the amazing things that will be going on in their
lives BUT it still sucks!!! Sucks big, huge, sweaty bawls!
Then, I read the most heart-wrenching
story yesterday. I’m going to link up to it but only because I know the family
needs some prayers. But I warn you, if you’re feeling exceptionally emotional DO NOT read this
story. I wish I had known. He had a horrible disease that ultimately took his
life. Basically his mommy couldn’t love on him and hug on him like most mommies
get to. It just tore me to pieces. I can’t imagine not being able to kiss Gavin
whenever I want or squeeze his chubby little thighs. It just breaks my heart. I
don’t take my family’s health for granted. If I did before, I certainly don’t
after reading about Tripp. He went to a better place last week. A place where
he can be snuggled all the time and he’s no longer in pain. I held Gavin a little
longer last night before I put him to bed as tears streamed down my cheeks.
I’ve also been going through
pics for G’s first birthday slide show. Ugh! How is he already turning one!?!? I
am so happy that he’s growing and thriving (did I tell you he’s walking?!?
Walking at 10 months!!!) but I just want him to stay my baby forever. He’s
starting to show more of his independence and squirming away from me when
there’s something more interesting to see. I try not to get frustrated when he just
wants me to carry him. My days of carrying him are numbered. I knew he was
going to grow up, I just didn’t know it was going to happen so soon.
Yesterday… I tested. Yep, five
days before beta. After my fresh cycle IVF (with Gavin) I was able to get the
slightest, faintest second line five days before beta. Yesterday…there was most
definitely, nothing. Nada! I’m not sure if the timing is different for frozen
transfers. I’m trying not to getting to caught up in it but UGH!!! There is a
very good chance that this might not work. I’m pretty good at staying positive
with my words (‘when’ this works, not ‘if’) but this was just a big smack into
reality.
So, all of this is happening at
once. I’m an emotional, hormonal, blubbering mess of a fool. Pardon the tear stained post.
5 comments:
Oh man, I started off my morning by reading Kelly's Korner and she linked up to Tripp's blog. I opened without realizing and just got the most sickening feeling. The thing that got me was when she wrote that she'd rather cut her own arm off before her son would get so swollen that he couldn't hold his favorite friend Elmo. Wow, I just get teary even thinking about it again. I had to close the blog and not read any further. I can't wait to go home and hug on Chloe. I'm so sorry your good friend is moving away. Skype will become your new best friend. :) And it's still early and plenty of time for that second line to show up!!
You're only 10dpo (7dpFET) - that is REaLLy early to test. I did that as well and got a negative on my BFP cycle. If you're going to test again before beta, try to wait until at least 12 dpo (2 more days), preferably 14. Good luck!
I read Tripp's story too and also hugged my daughter a little (okay, a lot tighter that night). I was sobbing in the car for ten minutes after I read it. What a horrible tragedy. There is so much suffering in the world.
I hope you see two lines soon. Good luck!
I've been hearing about Tripp's story, but I can't read about it, yet.
Planning the FIRST bday party is SO overwhelming!!! Lots of ideas on pinterest, but where to begin??!! We are doing a sock monkey theme. I am happy to say that I made a balloon wreath I found on pinterest.
I had no idea you did a FET. Wishing you the best on beta day!
Good luck with the FET, I hope it sticks! My clinic does beta at 8 days past transfer, so very early, but I love that! I can't imagine having to wait 11 whole days!!
That story of that baby boy is so sad. I can't imagine such a thing either.
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