I can't believe so many in this community have suffered miscarriages. It is heart wrenching to know I'm not alone. This is probably one of the most painful experiences in my life.
I was advised to go into the ER on Monday for an exam since the bleeding and cramping were in full force. I'm so glad I went in. They were able to perform the D&C that evening. Although the miscarriage was already happening naturally, I was horrified at the thought of actually experiencing it. Every trip to the restroom over the weekend was torture. Seeing the blood was just a reminder of what was happening. I
The surgery was relatively painless. The most uncomfortable part was the breathing tube and the sore throat that came with that. My bleeding and cramping have been very minor. I'm physically feeling nearly back to normal.
Emotionally...I go back and forth. It certainly helps that I have a perfect almost 8 month old baby staring at my with his chubby cheeks and two little teefers! I get up in the mornings because of him!!!
Then, there are the times when I see the "I'm going to be a big brother" onesie that I bought him, and the overwhelming emotions come rushing back.
I feel so naive for thinking it could have been this easy. I was already calculating how far along I'd be at Christmas, the hubs' fire academy graduation, Gavin's first birthday... I feel so stupid! And now...I have hope! I actually am left with the feeling that this could happen again. The doctor said we could start trying again as soon as I see AF (in roughly 4-6 weeks.) Am I just gullible?! Could I really get naturally pregnant again? I suppose there's only one way to find out.
For now, I'll continue to work on healing, physically and emotionally...and praying for all of those that have also suffered this horrible outcome and those that will suffer after me.