Yep...in the last two months I've had three (THREE!) fertile friends announce their pregnancies.
One is a year younger than me and now pregnant with her second baby. Her first isn't even a year old yet. This one doesn't sting as bad though. She lives on the east coast and I only see her twice a year. She'll be 30 this year and trust me, I'd be pregnant again if it would happen that easily (and yes, we're hoping to be one of "those couple" that just miraculously gets pregnant right away.)
The other two friends' news, stings. The first, is 36 today!!! She got pregnant after two months of TTC. She is a dear friend and I am very happy for her. Her older sister has been TTC her second baby for FIVE years so she was concerned she could have some issues too. Obviously, she doesn't. The thing that stings the most, she publicly announced it when she was 6 weeks pregnant. She just doesn't have the worries that we have. I'm envious of the peace she has with her pregnancy. The second friend is 32. She doesn't even want kids right now! She's feeling the pressure of her age (which I totally understand) but she isn't ready to give up their lifestyle to incorporate a child. Her husband feels the complete opposite. He's been ready for a baby for at least three years. She finally gave in. She was pregnant the first month. She's another one that's gone public early, this one at 8 weeks.
I'll be honest, I'm just jealous. I loooooved being pregnant and I can't wait to be pregnant again. I would just prefer that getting pregnant not require surgery!
The bottom line...I really don't understand why getting pregnant can be so easy for some and so not for others! Why was it so hard for me to have a baby and even harder for many of you?! I don't get it!!! And that makes me really angry!
And know what you might be thinking, I have a baby! I know, I know...I am beyond grateful! I never thought I'd see this chapter of my life. I wish that having a baby turned off my infertile brain. Unfortunately, it didn't. And the pregnancy announcements still hurt and that scares the crap out of me. Will I feel like this forever?
4 comments:
It's so frustrating isn't it. The person who I really feel bad for is that 36 year olds sister who has been trying for five years. That would be so difficult to handle. I just told someone the other day that if I'm 70 someday and still crying in the bathroom at baby showers I'm going to be super pissed! :)
The totaly frustrating thing about fertile women who fall so easily just do not understand infertile women and what it is like to take so long to conceive...I have had two friends conceived on their honeymoon like WTF? when does that happen and here I am merrily still trying...
I don't understand why I get so angry when someone announces they're pregnant at 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 8 weeks. But I do - I get angry that they're so "Yes I'm pregnant and nothing bad can happen". I guess more jealous than angry? I'd have to really sort my feelings out to figure it out.
Pregnancy announcements still sting, years after I stopped treatment, adoption actions, etc. I still have that catch in my throat, followed by pain in my heart that forces me into a quiet dark place so I can let the tears out. I hope as your child grows, you'll lose that. I keep hoping I will.
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