I’ve got a lot to fill you in on. I have some super cute pics from our two-week Hawaiian cruise that we just got home from and I suppose I should update you all on Baby Gavin too but that will have to wait an extra day…I need to vent.
Background:
I have a 20-year old brother; we’ll call him “L.” He is actually my cousin. We officially adopted him when he was four but he has lived with us since before his first birthday. {The short story is that my aunt is a crack-whore prostitute (quite literally although she’s been clean for seven years now.) My bro is the fourth child of hers; the first three kids were adopted by my grandparents.}
L has had it rough. He was born with drugs in his system and went through some pretty severe withdrawals once we got custody of him because of the secondhand usage that he was exposed to. He has some learning disabilities as a result. We’ve cut him a lot of slack (rightfully so) because of these obstacles.
He is truly the baby of the family. At 20, he’s only been out of high school for a year (he just didn’t have the motivation or care to graduate on time,) he’s never had a job, thinks its okay to smoke pot all day long and do nothing with his life and he still lives at home {more background: The hubs and I also live with my family. We rent the 1200 sq. ft. apartment on top of their garage. The hubs and I have been living there for two years now. We’re selling our house and hoping that living with family will enable me to stay home and be a mommy once the baby is here.} In addition, L was busted for underage drinking about a year and a half ago. He wasn’t driving but they suspended his driver’s license for a year since he was under the legal drinking age and put him on probation. During that year, do you think he stopped illegally drinking or smoking pot?!?! Now that his license has been reinstated, his car insurance has skyrocketed. My parents still pay it…among the weekly allowance they give him. Bottom line, he is ridiculously immature and hardly acts his age.
The story:
About three months ago, my mom took my brother to the cell phone store for an upgraded cell phone (that they pay for, of course!) They girl selling them the phone hit on my bro and next thing you know, they’re dating. Turns out she’s 27, has an 8-year old daughter (that she dropped off for her mother to raise for the entire first year of the child’s life. Luckily, baby dad seems to have it together and the child is very well-behaved although starving for a “normal” family life) and is leaving her abusive boyfriend. Because she’s leaving this boyfriend, she has no place to live. It started with her staying the night once or twice. I was baffled by this. I was raised in a pretty strict household. I was not allowed to have a boy IN my room at all, let alone in my bed, FOR THE NIGHT…repeatedly!
Fast forward three months, she’s been living with my fam this entire time. She "quit" her job within the week she moved in. She supposedly had another job lined up except she’s yet to go to work. She and her baby dad have 50/50 custody of their daughter but since she doesn’t have her own home she’s only been seeing her once or twice a month for a day or two at a time. What kind of mother doesn’t want to see their child? Numerous times, I’ve caught her smoking pot with my brother along with the fact that they are both cigarette smokers (by the way, L gets his pot from the money my parents give him. Isn’t it nice of my parents to “buy” him his stash?!?) What does this girl want with my brother?! I do love him but he’s hardly a catch for a full grown, adult mother, not that she’s really a keeper either though.
So now, the kicker…I know you all know what I’m going to say…she’s pregnant!!!
I am beyond livid…for so many reasons. 1) She knows how this happens. She has a child already. There. Is. No. Excuse. 2) She is an adult…she’s not an immature teenager that is careless and oops, has a baby. 3) I firmly believe that 95% of people who don’t want to have kids, don’t! Between birth control pills, condoms, abstinence, etc...“accidents” are hard for me to wrap my mind around. 4) They don’t have jobs! Shouldn’t that be birth control enough! Living off money that your boyfriend’s family gives him doesn’t seem like the ideal situation to bring a child into. 5) I’m furious that this 8itch gets to be a parent…again! Yes, I’ll say it, I’m jealous!!! She can’t even manage to parent the child she already has and she’s gets to do it again?!?! 6) If I catch her smoking anything while she’s pregnant…she won’t know what hit her! 7) As if it wasn’t bad enough that we have to share our excitement of finally being parents with my SIL, now we’ll have to share the limelight with my loser brother too! This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like there aren’t any consequences for my brother. Nothing affects him. When I got my driver’s license, my parents told me that if I got one ticket, they’d take my license away. I was scared to death and I still haven’t gotten a ticket. He gets his license suspended and it doesn’t faze him one bit. Being on probation doesn’t change anything he does. Do we honestly think having a baby is going to change anything about him?!
Ideally, I want him and his girlfriend to admit they’re in over their heads, admit they won’t be able to provide a good life for this child and let the hubs and I adopt it. That would be perfect in my mind! Even if they did get jobs and could financially support this child, I don’t believe they could provide this child with the best life. They are obviously not parent material…yet, they’re going to be parents whether I like it or not.
I haven’t talked to L at all. I can’t stand the sight of either of them. I only know what I know because my mom and dad have both talked to them. I get so fired up talking about this. I’m so angry! It frustrates me so much that there are so many of us that would give anything to “accidentally” be pregnant and be amazing parents. I just don’t understand why things happen this way.
