Saturday was my CD7 check up to see how I'm responding to Brav.elle.
The verdict: AWESOME!!!
We have FIVE follies (7.5mm, 8mm, 9mm, 10mm, and 11mm)...on the left side!!! AND...FOUR follies (9.5mm, 10.5mm, 10.5mm, and 11) on the right side!!! Holy crap! NINE FOLLICLES!!! (I will say that the number doesn't really frighten me at this point. With the last injectable cycle I did, we had eight follies and verified that at least five ovulated and still nada. So, I'm not going to get worked up with that number just yet...I'm thinking about it, just not worked up over it.)
RE said that he liked that all the follies are all growing in succession (I think that was the word he used.) He said I was a little ahead of schedule so we might be shortening this cycle. I'll have a CD10 check up on Tuesday and potentially trigger Tues. night and do IUI's Wednesday and Thursday.
Fingers crosssed! This IS the cycle!!! Bring on some TWINS!!!! (Oh please God, let this be the time it works!!! Amen)
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
I'll admit it...
I'm scared to death that this final medicated cycle won't work!
I don't think I realized it until today. I was reading Hannah's post about loving the (2)WW. While I definitely don't love the (2)WW, I get what she's saying. It's during that wonderful two weeks that I actually have hope. I dream about what theme the nursery will decorated in and what name he/she will have. Of course, the end of that wait, all of the dreams are shattered with that stupid BFN, but for that two weeks, there's a chance.
When I'm not under the RE's care or going through treatments, I don't have much hope. I go with the flow, BD'ing on the appropriate days, but I don't expect anything. I don't always know when I'm in the (2)WW, so I don't fantasize about the miracle that could be. On the flip side, not fully experiencing the (2)WW, means the BFN doesn't sting quite as bad.
Last night we started the final round of IUI treatment. I sat my nerves aside and welcomed the first Brav.elle injection. I can't say that I enjoyed it but it was a very somber moment. I don't even want to think about this not working. IVF is way down the road for us (mostly financially) so I know, if this doesn't work, we're on our own for a while.
I'm going to do my best to be in the moment this time around. If this cycle does result in my first ever BFP, I want to savor each moment that got me to that point. I'm going to continue to welcome each nightly shot with peace and calm. I'm going to pray for all the follies that will be maturing and possibly becoming my beautiful babies. I'm going to cherish the time that the hubs and I have as a couple because it will hopefully be short-lived.
Mostly, I'm going to just focus on being positive. I'm going to thank God for all the chances that we have had to work with an RE up to this point. I'm going to be grateful for the constant support that I've had from my hubs and even my family. And...I'm going to love my (2)WW, even if it ends in a BFN, because that is God's plan for us right now.
*I still reserve the right to be a nervous, basket case in upcoming posts regarding this cycle - I'm still human afterall. LOL!*
**I'm also working on my fourth acu report. Check back for that in the next day or two.
I don't think I realized it until today. I was reading Hannah's post about loving the (2)WW. While I definitely don't love the (2)WW, I get what she's saying. It's during that wonderful two weeks that I actually have hope. I dream about what theme the nursery will decorated in and what name he/she will have. Of course, the end of that wait, all of the dreams are shattered with that stupid BFN, but for that two weeks, there's a chance.
When I'm not under the RE's care or going through treatments, I don't have much hope. I go with the flow, BD'ing on the appropriate days, but I don't expect anything. I don't always know when I'm in the (2)WW, so I don't fantasize about the miracle that could be. On the flip side, not fully experiencing the (2)WW, means the BFN doesn't sting quite as bad.
Last night we started the final round of IUI treatment. I sat my nerves aside and welcomed the first Brav.elle injection. I can't say that I enjoyed it but it was a very somber moment. I don't even want to think about this not working. IVF is way down the road for us (mostly financially) so I know, if this doesn't work, we're on our own for a while.
I'm going to do my best to be in the moment this time around. If this cycle does result in my first ever BFP, I want to savor each moment that got me to that point. I'm going to continue to welcome each nightly shot with peace and calm. I'm going to pray for all the follies that will be maturing and possibly becoming my beautiful babies. I'm going to cherish the time that the hubs and I have as a couple because it will hopefully be short-lived.
Mostly, I'm going to just focus on being positive. I'm going to thank God for all the chances that we have had to work with an RE up to this point. I'm going to be grateful for the constant support that I've had from my hubs and even my family. And...I'm going to love my (2)WW, even if it ends in a BFN, because that is God's plan for us right now.
*I still reserve the right to be a nervous, basket case in upcoming posts regarding this cycle - I'm still human afterall. LOL!*
**I'm also working on my fourth acu report. Check back for that in the next day or two.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The real biatch!
She's here...the real biatch...AF! After Spot showed up Wed and Thurs, I fully expected AF Friday. I woke up to what I thought was her visit and schedule my CD1 appointment. The u/s showed that it was not AF and just another appearance by Spot. So weird. I was even more weirded out that the RE could actually see on the u/s that I hadn't really had my period yet. Who knew? I waited 'patiently' for AF all weekend and only woke up to find her (for reals this time) today! She brought her evil friends cramps, backache and headache too. Good news is that IB (inner biatch) is long gone. Thank the Lord (and I know the hubs fully agrees!)
I do have to mention what a blessing it is that AF was two days late this month. I start my Bra.velle on CD3. Well, if I had seen AF on Friday, like I thought, I would've started injections on Monday- the day when the hubs works a 24-hour shift. He wouldn't be around to give me the first shot. I would've made do with that but its just a little less stressful to have the hubs around for shot number one.
I'm looking forward to what Cycle 19 has to offer. Good news??? Let's hope!
I do have to mention what a blessing it is that AF was two days late this month. I start my Bra.velle on CD3. Well, if I had seen AF on Friday, like I thought, I would've started injections on Monday- the day when the hubs works a 24-hour shift. He wouldn't be around to give me the first shot. I would've made do with that but its just a little less stressful to have the hubs around for shot number one.
I'm looking forward to what Cycle 19 has to offer. Good news??? Let's hope!
Friday, February 19, 2010
The biatch is back
and I'm not talking about AF! I'm talking about the inner biatch (IB) that peaks her ugly face out when AF is on her way. I haven't seen IB in a while. I'm used to seeing inner emotional self these days. But nope, IB got here Tuesday and she's got it out for the hubs. I'm just really irritable and snap at the smallest things especially when the hubs us invading my personal space (in my opinion, of course) in the kitchen. I really work much better in the kitchen ALONE. I snapped, then I felt bad, then he told me I was being obnoxious (I was, I can admit that now,) then I got mad because he was being mean, then I felt bad and apologized. It was a long night.
Last night, the hubs jokingly (I think...I hope!) prayed for a 9 month break from IB! LOL! I prayed right along with him though. Although IB is here a lot less than inner emotional self, IB makes her presence known much more!
I'm really hoping IB is on her way out of here. Spot showed up Wednesday (right when I thought he'd be here,) then he came back Thursday (what?!?!) Today its limbo. I should be seeing AF today if that really was Spot on Wednesday. I'd really like for her to show up so I can schedule my CD1 appointment and get going with the final medicated cycle/IUI's. Let's get this show on the road already...
Last night, the hubs jokingly (I think...I hope!) prayed for a 9 month break from IB! LOL! I prayed right along with him though. Although IB is here a lot less than inner emotional self, IB makes her presence known much more!
I'm really hoping IB is on her way out of here. Spot showed up Wednesday (right when I thought he'd be here,) then he came back Thursday (what?!?!) Today its limbo. I should be seeing AF today if that really was Spot on Wednesday. I'd really like for her to show up so I can schedule my CD1 appointment and get going with the final medicated cycle/IUI's. Let's get this show on the road already...
Monday, February 15, 2010
Evening brings forth the beast!
The chocolate beast!!!
I'm pretty certain this is just a side effect of AF's imminent visit but I WANT CHOCOLATE!!!
I just ate a yummy dinner (full of fried food and carbs!) but I'm having a serious craving for some good chocolate. Not the kind you get at the grocery store. I want the kind that sends me to the specialty chocolate story (Se.es Candies for me please!!!) I'll be headed there tomorrow to spend one of my one pound gift certificates .
Diet will resume...umm, next week. Yeah! Next week!
At this point, I'm totally ready for AF. Bring it on &itch. Just get here so we can move on.
I'm pretty certain this is just a side effect of AF's imminent visit but I WANT CHOCOLATE!!!
I just ate a yummy dinner (full of fried food and carbs!) but I'm having a serious craving for some good chocolate. Not the kind you get at the grocery store. I want the kind that sends me to the specialty chocolate story (Se.es Candies for me please!!!) I'll be headed there tomorrow to spend one of my one pound gift certificates .
Diet will resume...umm, next week. Yeah! Next week!
At this point, I'm totally ready for AF. Bring it on &itch. Just get here so we can move on.
Acupuncture Report #3
Today’s acu appointment was rather uneventful. Only six needles and lots of good meditation/prayer time. I realized, as a person that fears needles greatly, acu isn’t all that bad. I forget the gauge of the needles but they are seriously tiny, like a strand of hair. The initial stick of the needle is nothing like injections, its nearly painless. My only suggestion to anyone that feels the way I do about needles is, don’t look at them. I made that mistake today. More than half of the inch and half-long needle was in my skin. Holy moley! After a few deeeeeep breaths, I was able to put it out of my mind.
Also, if you want to know how much you talk with your hands, have someone put needles in them and then ask you questions. While I have needles in my hands, I might as well be in a straight jacket. Movement is not an option. I’ve mentioned it before, it freaks me out. So when the doctor starts asking me questions, I realize the instant urge I have to use my hands to get my point across. Since I can’t do that, I feel like she’s not understanding a work I’m saying. Of course, that’s all in my head.
Today, I’m in a very somber mood. I’m guessing it’s the impending AF (even though I have no idea when to actually expect her since I didn’t use OPK’s this time) and all the emotions that she brings with her. It also probably has something to do with this next injectable/IUI cycle being that last one before venturing into the IVF world (which, btw, is not even something we’re considering until 2011.) The mood could also be because I spent four days with pregnant BFF and her 7-month old. It was just another reminder of what I’m missing in my own life. In any case, I’m feeling…blah. I’m still working on being content but sometimes the icky feelings are stronger than the desire I have to feel content. It’s all part of this nasty IF process though. I know I won’t feel like this forever…God, I hope not!
PS… A: I’m waiting until my fourth appointment (a month of appointments) with acu to let you know if I recommend it and actually see a difference. I’ll keep you posted. I did shop around for a cheap doctor. I have Kais.er so my acu is not covered through them but they do have a list of acu doctors that offer discounts to Kais.er patients. Each appointment with the acu doctor is $40. Definitely the cheapest I was able to find in my area…by about $60.
PPS… Nicole: Thanks for pointing out my sidebar. Apparently, I was stuck in 2009. All better now.
Also, if you want to know how much you talk with your hands, have someone put needles in them and then ask you questions. While I have needles in my hands, I might as well be in a straight jacket. Movement is not an option. I’ve mentioned it before, it freaks me out. So when the doctor starts asking me questions, I realize the instant urge I have to use my hands to get my point across. Since I can’t do that, I feel like she’s not understanding a work I’m saying. Of course, that’s all in my head.
Today, I’m in a very somber mood. I’m guessing it’s the impending AF (even though I have no idea when to actually expect her since I didn’t use OPK’s this time) and all the emotions that she brings with her. It also probably has something to do with this next injectable/IUI cycle being that last one before venturing into the IVF world (which, btw, is not even something we’re considering until 2011.) The mood could also be because I spent four days with pregnant BFF and her 7-month old. It was just another reminder of what I’m missing in my own life. In any case, I’m feeling…blah. I’m still working on being content but sometimes the icky feelings are stronger than the desire I have to feel content. It’s all part of this nasty IF process though. I know I won’t feel like this forever…God, I hope not!
PS… A: I’m waiting until my fourth appointment (a month of appointments) with acu to let you know if I recommend it and actually see a difference. I’ll keep you posted. I did shop around for a cheap doctor. I have Kais.er so my acu is not covered through them but they do have a list of acu doctors that offer discounts to Kais.er patients. Each appointment with the acu doctor is $40. Definitely the cheapest I was able to find in my area…by about $60.
PPS… Nicole: Thanks for pointing out my sidebar. Apparently, I was stuck in 2009. All better now.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Acupuncture Report #2
Monday was my second acu appointment. This appointment was a lot less exciting than the last. She mostly asked me how I was feeling after the last session and a week on the herbs (or as I call it, the "potion"). I guess last week's potion was for warming. She's concerned that I'm always cold since because of my circulation issues. The first night after a full day of the potion, I had the most insane hot flash/night sweat. I couldn't be under the covers and I couldn't fall asleep because I was so hot. Very interesting!
The needle portion was a little more painful this time but also a little more relaxing. She put one needle in my ankle, between that knobby bone and the Achilles tendon. It hurt insanely! Then she told me to relax my leg so that my ankle rolled to the side...umm, NO!!! All I could envision was rolling my ankle to the side and pressing the needle into my bone! No thanks. I guess she could tell that I was tense so she took out the needle. Thank the Lord! She then put another needle into a really random spot on the inside of my calf. WHOA!!! It must have been doing whatever it was supposed to do because it felt like it was lightly charged with electricity. I couldn't decide if it hurt or not. Weird.
After inserting a few more needles (mostly in my hands,) she left the room giving me instructions to practice my breathing and meditate. I did the only meditative thing I know how to do...pray! I went through a mental list...my husband, mom, dad, brother, BFF, blog buddies, etc... It was awesome! I'm sad to admit, I haven't had uninterrupted time with God in a long time. It was very nice. Exactly what I needed.
The appointment was over soon after the meditation. This week's potion is to help with my lack of energy. We'll see how that goes.
I had a slight "oh man!" moment at the appoitnment. She asked when I'll be starting my next period. Oh man...I don't know!!! You see, usually I use OPK's to see when I'm going to ov. I've always ov'd 14 days after a positive OPK. Well, rebellious me, I didn't want to use OPKs this cycle. Now...I don't know when I should be expecting AF. So annoying! I'm assuming I ov'd sometime between Monday and Friday LAST week, so I should be seeing AF sometime between Monday and Friday NEXT week. Ugh, a five day window. So annoying! What was I thinking! I don't even know when to test early (since that's what I always do.) If I'm supposed to see AF Monday, I could test as early as Friday but if AF won't be here until Thursday, a test on Friday would be a waste. Aaahhhh!!! So, I guess I'll be skipping the testing and wait for AF "patiently." After all, I'm so excited {insert sarcasm} to start an injectable cycle once AF shows up.
***Thanks for all the comments about being a glutton for punishment. I'm so glad to know I'm not alone. Sometimes the hubs looks at me like I'm crazy and asks me why I do that to myself. I don't know!!! I'm just happy to hear I'm not the only one. Thanks!
The needle portion was a little more painful this time but also a little more relaxing. She put one needle in my ankle, between that knobby bone and the Achilles tendon. It hurt insanely! Then she told me to relax my leg so that my ankle rolled to the side...umm, NO!!! All I could envision was rolling my ankle to the side and pressing the needle into my bone! No thanks. I guess she could tell that I was tense so she took out the needle. Thank the Lord! She then put another needle into a really random spot on the inside of my calf. WHOA!!! It must have been doing whatever it was supposed to do because it felt like it was lightly charged with electricity. I couldn't decide if it hurt or not. Weird.
After inserting a few more needles (mostly in my hands,) she left the room giving me instructions to practice my breathing and meditate. I did the only meditative thing I know how to do...pray! I went through a mental list...my husband, mom, dad, brother, BFF, blog buddies, etc... It was awesome! I'm sad to admit, I haven't had uninterrupted time with God in a long time. It was very nice. Exactly what I needed.
The appointment was over soon after the meditation. This week's potion is to help with my lack of energy. We'll see how that goes.
I had a slight "oh man!" moment at the appoitnment. She asked when I'll be starting my next period. Oh man...I don't know!!! You see, usually I use OPK's to see when I'm going to ov. I've always ov'd 14 days after a positive OPK. Well, rebellious me, I didn't want to use OPKs this cycle. Now...I don't know when I should be expecting AF. So annoying! I'm assuming I ov'd sometime between Monday and Friday LAST week, so I should be seeing AF sometime between Monday and Friday NEXT week. Ugh, a five day window. So annoying! What was I thinking! I don't even know when to test early (since that's what I always do.) If I'm supposed to see AF Monday, I could test as early as Friday but if AF won't be here until Thursday, a test on Friday would be a waste. Aaahhhh!!! So, I guess I'll be skipping the testing and wait for AF "patiently." After all, I'm so excited {insert sarcasm} to start an injectable cycle once AF shows up.
***Thanks for all the comments about being a glutton for punishment. I'm so glad to know I'm not alone. Sometimes the hubs looks at me like I'm crazy and asks me why I do that to myself. I don't know!!! I'm just happy to hear I'm not the only one. Thanks!
Monday, February 8, 2010
I have a confession...
I’m a glutton for punishment.
I agreed to throwing BFF another baby shower. Not only do I go to all the baby showers I’m invited to (because I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable) but I also THROW baby showers. I love BFF, and her being pregnant (even accidentally) doesn’t change that. No, it’s not easy for me. It actually sucks quite a bit but I can still put on the happy, excited face and ask how she’s feeling while rubbing the belly (I do enjoy that!) I know that my time will come and she already knows that I expect the most kick @$$ baby shower known to (wo)man. LOL!
I’m also thoroughly addicted to TV. Worse than that, I LOVE reality TV shows. It’s terrible. Scripted shows seem so…well, scripted. I can barely stand them. The part that makes me a glutton for punishment is that I’m terribly addicted to the absolute worst shows for an IF…my most favorites…18 19 Ki.ds and Coun.ting and 16 and Pre.gnant which then turned into Te.en Mo.m. I mean, seriously, could I enjoy any more of the worst shows on television?!?! In the most recent preview of 16 and pg, one of the girls finds out she’s 16 and pg with TWINS!!! Of course, she’s devastated. Not one, but two…oh, how I dream. Last season on Te.en Mo.m, one of the girls fought with her parents about staying home with the baby instead of going out to party with her other teenage friends. I wish I were “stuck” at home with a baby! When I watched the latest Dug.gar episode, I cried when they were faced with an extremely premature delivery of their 19th baby. No one should have to face that, even if they do have 18 other children at home. I still plan on keeping up with the newest seasons of each of those shows. I’m truly a glutton for punishment. I even make all the snarky comments when the young girls are baffled at getting pg even though they don’t use protection (imagine that!) and tear up during their deliveries. It’s what any IF would do watching those shows…yet, I have no desire to stop.
I agreed to throwing BFF another baby shower. Not only do I go to all the baby showers I’m invited to (because I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable) but I also THROW baby showers. I love BFF, and her being pregnant (even accidentally) doesn’t change that. No, it’s not easy for me. It actually sucks quite a bit but I can still put on the happy, excited face and ask how she’s feeling while rubbing the belly (I do enjoy that!) I know that my time will come and she already knows that I expect the most kick @$$ baby shower known to (wo)man. LOL!
I’m also thoroughly addicted to TV. Worse than that, I LOVE reality TV shows. It’s terrible. Scripted shows seem so…well, scripted. I can barely stand them. The part that makes me a glutton for punishment is that I’m terribly addicted to the absolute worst shows for an IF…my most favorites…
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Acupuncture Report #1
I want to start out by welcoming all my new followers. It was only two weeks ago that I was so excited to graduate from unlucky 13 followers to 14 and now…I’m at 21 followers!!! I know that’s not many for some of you but I am ecstatic!!! Welcome!!! I’m so glad you’ve found me!!!
Onto the meat of this post, yesterday was my first acupuncture (acu, from here on) appointment. It was very interesting. I’m not sure I actually ‘believe’ in all of it but I’m all for relaxation and well-being so I gave it a shot. I got a few questions when I mentioned in my last post that I was going to have acu so I’ll start by answering those.
What made you decide on acupuncture?
Hmm, I’m not sure there was any one thing that made me decide on acupuncture. When I started reading (aka stalking) the blogs, many IF women were doing acu. After doing a tiny bit of research (seriously, not that much,) I thought that it sounded interesting and might be able to help me with my fatigue issues. I made it my New Year’s resolution to try it out.
Did you try to find someone who works on infertility or just a general acupuncturist?
My insurance does not cover acu so I was able to find two acu’ists in my area that gave discounts to people with my insurance. From those two, I chose this one because a) she was cheaper than the other (which was my main concern,) and b) she does specialize in IF.
I firmly believe I will have a child (biologically or adopted) when it is in God’s time. So, while I would love to be pregnant at this very moment, my goal with acupuncture is not necessarily to conceive (although I would gratefully accept!) My goal is to mainly feel better overall because that will benefit me TTC and otherwise.
Okay…so the appointment. I filled out a general questionnaire. She wanted to know what my main concern was (I wrote chronic fatigue and also trouble TTC.) She wanted to know what kind of ailments/illnesses I have or have had in the past (I listed meningitis in 2004.) There was also a diagram of the body to circle places of chronic pain (I circled the face area because I have major sinus/allergy issues and have constant sinus pressure and pain.)
She asked me a few questions regarding my fatigue. How long I’ve suffered, what symptoms I have, what my sleep habits are like, etc… She asked me for details regarding my TTC history. Meds, IUI’s, cycles (all the questions we’re used to…)
We talked a bit more after that but I can’t remember what was discussed. She noted that my feet were freezing even though the room was very warm and I was actually hot (for once) in there. All of this was before needles and lasted about 30 minutes. From our discussions, her main concern was my circulation based on my low body temperature (between 96.8 and 97.2 regularly,) frequent headaches, poor immune system, troubles TTC and me feeling cold most of the time.
She decided to put needles in my hands and feet. I guess those are the necessary pressure points to aid in circulation. I wasn’t as nervous about the needles as I thought I would be. It felt like a tiny shock. You know, that feeling when there’s static in the air and you touch something metal? It was a quick jolt and then no other pain. It’s not like getting your blood drawn or injections. Once the needle was in, the pain ceased. This will sound funny but I sort of felt claustrophobic with the needles in. My fear of needles comes from them being in my skin. The actual ‘prick’ doesn’t bother me. My crazy mind envisions the needle being in my body and moving around. I know it’s all in my crazy head. So, when the needles were in, I felt like I couldn’t move. I was afraid I’d move my hand or foot and catch the needle on something jamming it further into the skin or flexing a muscle and disturbing the needle. I laid there for the 15 minutes she left me to relax (HA, yeah right) frozen in fear. My body started to cramp up so I was forced to reposition. I did and I was fine. I know its all in my head to I fought the urge to scream for the doctor to rush in to take them out. I finally did relax.
After the 15 minutes, she came back in and started asking some more questions. She felt my stomach and also my joints. I had some pains in most of the spots she pressed. She asked if I drink a lot of water (I do, about a gallon a day.) I told her that I drink a lot but I’m ALWAYS thirsty. She thinks that because of poor circulation, my body isn’t absorbing all the water correctly so it’s collecting in my joints. She started rubbing my belly at this point. Her flat hand in a circular motion on my tummy, very weird. She kept talking about circulation but the tummy rubbing was a little distracting. She told me she was trying to get more blood flow to my organs. She did this for a good five minutes and then left me to relax for another 10 minutes.
Once she stopped the rubbing and left, I started to feel a cramping feeling in my tummy. Something like mild period cramps. I told her when she came back and she said that was what she was trying to promote with the rubbing. I guess it worked. I’m also ov’ing at some point this week so I’m sure that has a little something to do with it.
At this point, she pulled out the needles. I literally didn’t feel one of them! Such a relief. She asked if I was willing to try some herbal supplements. I am as long as they don’t interfere with any of the fertility meds. I put my socks and shoes back on and she told me how to take the supplement (two spoonfuls, twice a day in water.) I’m a little too trusting I’m sure and I just agreed to take it without even asking what was in it. I’m really not too worried though since I’m not currently on an IF meds.
I left the appointment with a fierce headache. I honestly think it was because the room got too warm (the bed was warmed and the heater was on my feet for the entire time.) But…if she did promote circulation in my body this could be another reason for a headache. I don’t know. I’m still not completely sold on all of it but I’m going to give it a month and go from there. My next appointment is Monday. So I’ll be sure to let you know how that goes.
Onto the meat of this post, yesterday was my first acupuncture (acu, from here on) appointment. It was very interesting. I’m not sure I actually ‘believe’ in all of it but I’m all for relaxation and well-being so I gave it a shot. I got a few questions when I mentioned in my last post that I was going to have acu so I’ll start by answering those.
What made you decide on acupuncture?
Hmm, I’m not sure there was any one thing that made me decide on acupuncture. When I started reading (aka stalking) the blogs, many IF women were doing acu. After doing a tiny bit of research (seriously, not that much,) I thought that it sounded interesting and might be able to help me with my fatigue issues. I made it my New Year’s resolution to try it out.
Did you try to find someone who works on infertility or just a general acupuncturist?
My insurance does not cover acu so I was able to find two acu’ists in my area that gave discounts to people with my insurance. From those two, I chose this one because a) she was cheaper than the other (which was my main concern,) and b) she does specialize in IF.
I firmly believe I will have a child (biologically or adopted) when it is in God’s time. So, while I would love to be pregnant at this very moment, my goal with acupuncture is not necessarily to conceive (although I would gratefully accept!) My goal is to mainly feel better overall because that will benefit me TTC and otherwise.
Okay…so the appointment. I filled out a general questionnaire. She wanted to know what my main concern was (I wrote chronic fatigue and also trouble TTC.) She wanted to know what kind of ailments/illnesses I have or have had in the past (I listed meningitis in 2004.) There was also a diagram of the body to circle places of chronic pain (I circled the face area because I have major sinus/allergy issues and have constant sinus pressure and pain.)
She asked me a few questions regarding my fatigue. How long I’ve suffered, what symptoms I have, what my sleep habits are like, etc… She asked me for details regarding my TTC history. Meds, IUI’s, cycles (all the questions we’re used to…)
We talked a bit more after that but I can’t remember what was discussed. She noted that my feet were freezing even though the room was very warm and I was actually hot (for once) in there. All of this was before needles and lasted about 30 minutes. From our discussions, her main concern was my circulation based on my low body temperature (between 96.8 and 97.2 regularly,) frequent headaches, poor immune system, troubles TTC and me feeling cold most of the time.
She decided to put needles in my hands and feet. I guess those are the necessary pressure points to aid in circulation. I wasn’t as nervous about the needles as I thought I would be. It felt like a tiny shock. You know, that feeling when there’s static in the air and you touch something metal? It was a quick jolt and then no other pain. It’s not like getting your blood drawn or injections. Once the needle was in, the pain ceased. This will sound funny but I sort of felt claustrophobic with the needles in. My fear of needles comes from them being in my skin. The actual ‘prick’ doesn’t bother me. My crazy mind envisions the needle being in my body and moving around. I know it’s all in my crazy head. So, when the needles were in, I felt like I couldn’t move. I was afraid I’d move my hand or foot and catch the needle on something jamming it further into the skin or flexing a muscle and disturbing the needle. I laid there for the 15 minutes she left me to relax (HA, yeah right) frozen in fear. My body started to cramp up so I was forced to reposition. I did and I was fine. I know its all in my head to I fought the urge to scream for the doctor to rush in to take them out. I finally did relax.
After the 15 minutes, she came back in and started asking some more questions. She felt my stomach and also my joints. I had some pains in most of the spots she pressed. She asked if I drink a lot of water (I do, about a gallon a day.) I told her that I drink a lot but I’m ALWAYS thirsty. She thinks that because of poor circulation, my body isn’t absorbing all the water correctly so it’s collecting in my joints. She started rubbing my belly at this point. Her flat hand in a circular motion on my tummy, very weird. She kept talking about circulation but the tummy rubbing was a little distracting. She told me she was trying to get more blood flow to my organs. She did this for a good five minutes and then left me to relax for another 10 minutes.
Once she stopped the rubbing and left, I started to feel a cramping feeling in my tummy. Something like mild period cramps. I told her when she came back and she said that was what she was trying to promote with the rubbing. I guess it worked. I’m also ov’ing at some point this week so I’m sure that has a little something to do with it.
At this point, she pulled out the needles. I literally didn’t feel one of them! Such a relief. She asked if I was willing to try some herbal supplements. I am as long as they don’t interfere with any of the fertility meds. I put my socks and shoes back on and she told me how to take the supplement (two spoonfuls, twice a day in water.) I’m a little too trusting I’m sure and I just agreed to take it without even asking what was in it. I’m really not too worried though since I’m not currently on an IF meds.
I left the appointment with a fierce headache. I honestly think it was because the room got too warm (the bed was warmed and the heater was on my feet for the entire time.) But…if she did promote circulation in my body this could be another reason for a headache. I don’t know. I’m still not completely sold on all of it but I’m going to give it a month and go from there. My next appointment is Monday. So I’ll be sure to let you know how that goes.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Back to the daily grind!
I’m back from vacation feeling great! That week away from all things TTC (including pregnant friends) was exactly what I needed. I didn’t realize how much I think about TTC, doctor’s appointments, shots, pee sticks, etc… until I was out of my normal environment. More than a physical break from life, this vacation was a total emotional break. Other than one small conversation, talk of TTC wasn’t a part of my life for an entire week. Did I mention how great that feels?!?! LOL!
Unfortunately, it’s back to reality now. I came home to a voicemail about my next prescription of Bra.velle. I don’t even know when I got the call because my phone was off the entire time we were gone. I was a nervous wreck thinking that they want to charge me normal price instead of my glorious $5 and we’d have to skip our final injectable cycle. I finally heard back from her a little bit ago and whatever problem there was, resolved itself. Phew!
I told you that we were taking this month off of treatments because we were gone for a whole week. Well I decided to take the month off from TTC altogether. That’s right, no calendars, no pee sticks. Nothing. It was only this morning that I realized I’ll be ovulating this week. Whatever. I’m not going to not try but I’m not going to schedule any BD’ing in. Whatever happens, happens. I’m cool with that…this month.
I was supposed to take today off work to get laundry done and regroup but I decided to come to work. I’ll be taking tomorrow off though. I start acupuncture tomorrow!!! I’m so excited! My initial reasons for starting acupuncture was to conceive but now, I just want to feel better and be more balanced. I’m thinking of it as a form of massage. I feel fantastic when I get a massage and I’m hoping I’ll feel equally relaxed and rejuvenated after treatments. I’ll be sure to let you know.
I’ll be using tonight (since the hubs is gone) to catch up on all your blogs. I’m so looking forward to a late night with the laptop. Hope you are all doing well. I feel like I’ve been gone for a month. Maybe you guys have some BFP news for me to read. Fingers crossed!
Unfortunately, it’s back to reality now. I came home to a voicemail about my next prescription of Bra.velle. I don’t even know when I got the call because my phone was off the entire time we were gone. I was a nervous wreck thinking that they want to charge me normal price instead of my glorious $5 and we’d have to skip our final injectable cycle. I finally heard back from her a little bit ago and whatever problem there was, resolved itself. Phew!
I told you that we were taking this month off of treatments because we were gone for a whole week. Well I decided to take the month off from TTC altogether. That’s right, no calendars, no pee sticks. Nothing. It was only this morning that I realized I’ll be ovulating this week. Whatever. I’m not going to not try but I’m not going to schedule any BD’ing in. Whatever happens, happens. I’m cool with that…this month.
I was supposed to take today off work to get laundry done and regroup but I decided to come to work. I’ll be taking tomorrow off though. I start acupuncture tomorrow!!! I’m so excited! My initial reasons for starting acupuncture was to conceive but now, I just want to feel better and be more balanced. I’m thinking of it as a form of massage. I feel fantastic when I get a massage and I’m hoping I’ll feel equally relaxed and rejuvenated after treatments. I’ll be sure to let you know.
I’ll be using tonight (since the hubs is gone) to catch up on all your blogs. I’m so looking forward to a late night with the laptop. Hope you are all doing well. I feel like I’ve been gone for a month. Maybe you guys have some BFP news for me to read. Fingers crossed!
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